The Little Environmentalist

Dear Readers,

Today's blog has been inspired actually since 26th February and also the activities I have been doing with the help of you all for my Gift a a plant a project. GaPP, and I have been witnessing children getting exited about seed bomb making as well working with soil to plant trees.
The stage was finally completely ready of this writing to happen when yesterday the message on how giving a smart phone to your child is like cocaine addiction. I have been talking about this addiction and how to keep children away from the screen since the time there were no smart phones, but there was television and then video games. Which was followed by PSP games. I always begged, advised, suggested, recommended parents to indulge in so much outdoor activity that the children would not get addicted to any screen activity, whether it was watching Pokemon or playing FIFA. Also advised to keep them away from games which were violent.

Today the addiction is not just for children, it is also with adults. In a gathering, in a restaurant, at the bus stop, in a queue, at the mall,  look around and you shall see most of the people are glued to their smart phones. Wonder if we are smart. Not that they are waiting for someone, or they are killing time, it is a family of four having lunch, or a couple out for lunch, or a woman is shopping and the man is on the phone. You don't have to put too much effort to see examples of this. I have seen adults and youngsters hiding and playing games on phone. The only thing I hid was a story book between my journals while pretending to study for exams. I guess those story books have helped me become an author despite my difficulty in reading. 

One of the best way to keep away from any kind of screen, is by involving ourselves in activities which are physical, which give you the dopamine rush that the games on the screen give. Activities which also involve nature and enjoying its bliss. I always recommend parents to take their children regularly for outings, hiking, trekking, climbing whatever left of the mountains around. Go to parks, museums, planetariums, beaches, go for star gazing, make visits to various factories, biscuits, milk, chocolate, steel. Go to dams. Go to jungle resorts for holidays. I have mentioned regarding these activities in my book Mom Dad U R Wonderful as well. My friend Rajan Eklahare has an amazing Jungle resort at Amba with food one would travel to the end of the earth. If you feel I am promoting these places, well yes I always like share with every one the great experiences that I have had. 

Finding a good spot to visit is not difficult, but let me  share my experience about the best spot just about an hour and 15 minutes from Navi Mumbai. Just 20 minutes from Imagica. This place is amazing for an overnight or even just a days visit. We can turn into environmentalist with the help of Sanjay and Geeta, the two most hard working people on this beautiful land which has beauty, serenity and greenery where you can bathe in the trees.

Now I connect you all to the title and the experience I had on 26th February. Rajesh and myself left with Holmes our pet on our 29th Anniversary in search for a small piece of land to make our retirement home along with a small meditation center. I had already been enjoying the organic vegetables from Sanjay and Geeta 's farm very aptly named Forganic Farm and Agro Tourism. In fact recently I ate the only best Alphonso from his friends mango trees plantations.
Two weeks prior to this I was at the school where Geeta is the vice principal and I had heard a group of teachers were going to the farm. I had made a note that we would also check this place out and also get some information for the land. I called Sanjay and we set out. We took the old Bombay Pune highway for more scenic experience. Holmes was happy he was travelling with us. 

Soon we reached the farm and as we stepped out, I was already impressed with the butterfly garden and the sheer hard work these two had put into this vast 22 acres of land. Geeta was already busy under the sun as it was 12 noon that we reached. I cursed myself for not having left early as this was not the time to venture into the farm for a long walk. However it was cool under the shade and Holmes and already made himself comfortable in the patch of garden where he kind of camouflaged in the trees. 

We were soon joined by Sanjay and Geeta and they took us for a tour . There were also some students who were learning about agriculture and the farm and they would soon be able to give a tour to others. We were already in awe of the enormous place and the beauty of it.

We started with a walk around the neatly made beds for the children to learn and experience farming. it is so important to keep this as a part of growing up. Not only it keeps us connected to the roots, but working with fingers and soil is something which will help children write better as it helps in developing a very strong eye motor coordination. Who better than me can tell this as we use therapeutic putty for this for a large learning population who approach us with the problem of writing difficulty.

We also witnessed plenty of vegetation. Holmes was ahead of us in the trail and was absolutely at home. He is a farm dog and with the blessing of you all, I pray he soon finds us a place where we can give him his rightful place. A Farm. we came to the river which has a wonderful wooden platform made where we can stand and watch the long stretch of the river. Sanjay explained to us about the fishes he bred there. and how they are in great numbers at a certain time of the year. Holmes slowly found his way to the river and started swimming joyfully. I also felt I must take a dip. We stood there for a while and then moved to the small waterfall and another stream of water which was just beautiful . I was thirsty so I ventured to drink a little. Holmes was thoroughly enjoying all the water bodies. cs

We had hardly done maybe less than half of the land and I was not upto walking much further. so Sanjay suggested we turn and see the Machaan before we conclude our trip. Now this was the most amazing Machan I have ever seen. I could make our from the structure, how it would feel to sit up there and gaze at the stars. One can surely bathe in the trees here besides the pond and the river and one can drown in the beauty of the night sky. In fact Just two days later was full moon Buddha Purnima and Sanjay sent me a pic of the Moon. It was just out of this world.

The place is now equipped with beautiful cottages for overnight stay with meals and tour and all the experience of nature. I have already booked my stay and look forward to visiting the place many times during the year.

I am sure you shall also find this place awe inspiring and an experience in itself with your children and friends or family. For me this is the place for a destination birthday, trip, get together,  where I would be able to inculcate the feeling of being a little environmentalist in every child and every individual. You may google Forganic Farms and Agro Tourism for more details.

with magical love

Salma

Every Child is a Star

The career counselling period is on and there are each days many parents who come to understand the inclination of their children and how their abilities and aptitudes could be best utilised with the right kind of career options.
The people who are coming to me this year are more due to the word of mouth and not from any advertisements. Till last year we were on Just Dial and we had many parents who were would become offensive and challenge our reports when their children would not get the option of Science or Engineering.
I was infact thinking of discontinuing the service of career counselling and was going to spend my energies convincing the education board to make engineering as the base level education for all. But thanks to my husband, he thought my services would be best utilised wi people who value, so he took off the Just dial services. Today instead of 10 career counselling in a day, we have just three maybe, but these are the ones who genuinely want their children to opt for the  careers they are going to be happy with for a lifetime.

It is so important to respect your children and their interests. It is further more essential to support and encourage them. What is the point in having lots of money or fame and have pills for anxiety. It is rather better to enjoy work and experience a holiday each day. Because the ones who really enjoy their work are literally having a holiday each day. They are not working, they are enjoying every bit of what they are doing and best is they get paid to enjoy.

My thought to write this on my blog came from the post of a friend who organises Indian Bands and Metal Bands. He posted about the sarcasm of his father and how his father compared him to Justin Beiber 's attendance and the earning. It is very sad that the father does not see his own son as a star. In a country where parents are afraid if the child takes up even Indian classical as a career, this son has gone ahead to encourage and promote metal and Indian Bands. Instead of encouraging him, supporting him, calling him a brave and amazing person, this father goes ahead to ask him what is his fan following and what is the income compared to some pop singer.

No two individuals can ever be compared. Here the father is actually demeaning the son and the brave career he has opted for.

My only wish is to lovingly give a copy of my book Mom Dad U R Wonderful and make him realise that his son is a star amongst many. It may not be millions, but it does not matter, he is a star. He is a bigger star for his friends, his associates, his co workers.

But let me tell you all fathers, it hurts when a parent does not recognise the talent and effort of their children.

Please sit and start looking at your children from a different perspective, different lenses. Your children are your stars. Whatever they are doing, do not criticise them, encourage them, do not compare them, glorify them. Do not put value of what they do in currency, see what difference they are making to many. I pray that the parents go and involve me selves in the work their children are doing and see what kind of joy they are bringing to many and they are role models. This father is definitely not a role model.

I am so happy that I may not have saved millions for my son. But I m the wealthiest person in the world when my son says Mom Dad U R Wonderful 

Tears of Joy

"Mom, I just finished reading your book, It is amazing how 25 years have gone by so quickly I must say. I love you". This message was from my son Anmol, who was travelling back from Nepal and had carried the book to read during the journey. 

There were tears in my eyes as the three words I LOVE YOU kind of gave the feedback to the book. It is not that he does not say that often. However it came also with en emoji of contented look.

The tears in my eyes were the tears of joy. I feel so blessed that I am a person who has learnt to accept my own emotions and am now very comfortable with them. Tears have been a very major part of my life. Being a woman, as it is we are blessed with the permission to cry. Whereas men are looked as sissy if they cry.  However for a very long time, I was guilty about my tears, I was uncomfortable with my crying. I would look at the designs of the theatre, if there was a sad scene which would make me cry. It was Taare Zameen Par, where I cried shamelessly as the entire theatre was crying and my husband who has always made fun of his mother and me for crying was also crying. I cried so much in the movie that my eyes were paining for two days. It was hereafter, I stopped being conscious about my crying and let the dam flow everytime there is an overflow of emotions. 

In my book, I have encouraged mothers to let their children cry and especially sons as timely tears help in develop a good emotional quotient. 

Tears are a part of everyone's life and suppressing them leads to other issues and illnesses. 

However today we are talking about tears of joy, and these days I enjoy them more often than never. Just two weeks ago, I started a painting and the speed and the concentration with which I was working on it was giving me utmost joy. Suddenly it was almost half done and the other students in the class started complimenting. I turned towards my teacher with gratitude in my eyes as she had encouraged me to do this and make it ready for the upcoming exhibition. As I looked into her eyes, she could see tears in my eyes swelling up and she understood immediately, how much joy this painting was giving me.

Few months ago I went to meet my school principal at Bangalore with my school mates.  All of us were having tears of joy and some of us were even crying profusely. But these were tears of joy.

Recently I was with a teenager who indulges in self pity and self harm and there is so much sadness in her. While doing a therapy session, I was applying the counselling skill of personal disclosure, wherein the counsellor can share if there was a similar experience in the life of the counsellor also. while applying this technique in a very professional manner, there were tears in my eyes and I realized that I had come much close to her and she was now ready to open her world to me, where there was a little resistant earlier.

Just as we have tears of sadness, we also have many moments of tears of joy. But only a person who lets them flow easily can experience both. People who suppress tears of sadness, also cannot experience tears of joy as they have conditioned and commanded their brains that crying means weakness. 

Yes it would be definitely nice to have more tears of joy, than tears of sadness, but the moral of the story, is let yourself free, experience both.

With Magical Love

Salma

Hello to the wonderful world of Parenting.

It gives me immense pleasure to start my blog on this topic with the need of the parents, though my book talks mostly about the needs of the children.

I just returned from my moms place which is just in the next wing and I am feeling wonderful as both my mom and dad are aged, but they are happy whenever they see me. They enjoy their dinner if they get a visit from me.

It used to be a little difficult for me to visit every day, However since I made up my mind that I am going to do that, no matter what I am at peace. It is great to feel that I am getting a chance to give them happiness, while I am also working towards bringing happiness in the lives of billions.

It would be of no use if I would bring happiness to the world and not give happiness to my Mom Dad who were always there when my son was small and I was in another state. Within a days notice they would get into the train and sometimes reserved, sometimes unreserved they would reach my place to help me with my child. They were always there to support me in all my ideas and ventures, they do the same today also. Today they need me and my attention and I am grateful that I am living close and have a supporting husband and son to do the same.

I wish that all the people read this and pay attention to their mom and dad when they need the most. Old age is when they need us the most. We must be there for them and make that as a priority.

with magical love

Salma Prabhu