"Mom, I just finished reading your book, It is amazing how 25 years have gone by so quickly I must say. I love you". This message was from my son Anmol, who was travelling back from Nepal and had carried the book to read during the journey.
There were tears in my eyes as the three words I LOVE YOU kind of gave the feedback to the book. It is not that he does not say that often. However it came also with en emoji of contented look.
The tears in my eyes were the tears of joy. I feel so blessed that I am a person who has learnt to accept my own emotions and am now very comfortable with them. Tears have been a very major part of my life. Being a woman, as it is we are blessed with the permission to cry. Whereas men are looked as sissy if they cry. However for a very long time, I was guilty about my tears, I was uncomfortable with my crying. I would look at the designs of the theatre, if there was a sad scene which would make me cry. It was Taare Zameen Par, where I cried shamelessly as the entire theatre was crying and my husband who has always made fun of his mother and me for crying was also crying. I cried so much in the movie that my eyes were paining for two days. It was hereafter, I stopped being conscious about my crying and let the dam flow everytime there is an overflow of emotions.
In my book, I have encouraged mothers to let their children cry and especially sons as timely tears help in develop a good emotional quotient.
Tears are a part of everyone's life and suppressing them leads to other issues and illnesses.
However today we are talking about tears of joy, and these days I enjoy them more often than never. Just two weeks ago, I started a painting and the speed and the concentration with which I was working on it was giving me utmost joy. Suddenly it was almost half done and the other students in the class started complimenting. I turned towards my teacher with gratitude in my eyes as she had encouraged me to do this and make it ready for the upcoming exhibition. As I looked into her eyes, she could see tears in my eyes swelling up and she understood immediately, how much joy this painting was giving me.
Few months ago I went to meet my school principal at Bangalore with my school mates. All of us were having tears of joy and some of us were even crying profusely. But these were tears of joy.
Recently I was with a teenager who indulges in self pity and self harm and there is so much sadness in her. While doing a therapy session, I was applying the counselling skill of personal disclosure, wherein the counsellor can share if there was a similar experience in the life of the counsellor also. while applying this technique in a very professional manner, there were tears in my eyes and I realized that I had come much close to her and she was now ready to open her world to me, where there was a little resistant earlier.
Just as we have tears of sadness, we also have many moments of tears of joy. But only a person who lets them flow easily can experience both. People who suppress tears of sadness, also cannot experience tears of joy as they have conditioned and commanded their brains that crying means weakness.
Yes it would be definitely nice to have more tears of joy, than tears of sadness, but the moral of the story, is let yourself free, experience both.
With Magical Love
Salma
